For All You Married Oppos

"Denver Is Stuck In The 90s" (denver80222)
10/24/2014 at 19:08 • Filed to: Jay Leno, Top Gear

"I have one wife and 150 cars. Ladies, Wouldnt you rather your husband come home smelling like transmission fluid than come home smelling like cheap perfume?" -Jay Leno on Top Gear

Remember, a project car is always better than a mistress

DISCUSSION (26)

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/24/2014 at 19:12

My gf was having a conversation with one of her friends, her friend said something like "oh doesnt it worry you when your boyfriend doesnt text back for a few hours." My girlfriend said "no I don't worry he's usually just lying under a car covered in grease so he cant pick up the phone."

PS9 > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/24/2014 at 19:14

Kinja'd!!!

The trans fluid smell could mean he's just working on the project car with the mistress.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > PS9
10/24/2014 at 19:15

Then is she a mistress if all they do is work on cars?

T5Killer > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/24/2014 at 19:15

NOTE TO SELF Have wife watch that episode of TG before I present buying another project Mustang.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
10/24/2014 at 19:15

Thats too funny

DoYouEvenShift > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/24/2014 at 19:19

Where do I apply to be his heir?

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > DoYouEvenShift
10/24/2014 at 19:20

Im wondering the same thing myself

bob and john > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
10/24/2014 at 19:21

mine says: hes out on his motorcycle getting it dirty with bug guts
person: and if its raining?
gf: whats how he washes the bike

Tohru > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/24/2014 at 19:22

Old transmission fluid smells worse than cheap perfume.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/24/2014 at 19:22

I think girls need to appreciate having a DIYer around the house. Like I said to someone who was excited that her boyfriend liked to dress up nice and was particular about his hair and stuff "a pretty boy is all well and good for now, but what are you going to do if the washing machine needs fixing, or your car breaks down." People tell me I have strange opinions about things...

treesmakewater > PS9
10/24/2014 at 19:23

I've had that dream before. Without the transmission fluid though, transmission work scares me

For Sweden > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
10/24/2014 at 19:27

I've had SO's think "he's just working on his car," then later think "the car fell of the jack stands better go check."

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > bob and john
10/24/2014 at 19:29

Well riding in the rain is more fun than actually washing it. I have yet to wash my car since buying it...

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > For Sweden
10/24/2014 at 19:35

My girlfriend tends to understand that when I say something like "it's only a backbox change, it'll take about 2 hours" I really mean "I'll find several other broken things and sheared bolts, it'll take a couple days and lots of swearing."

crowmolly > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/24/2014 at 19:38

One of (if not THE) most important thing to remember as a married OPPO?

Spin . It needs to all come down to gas mileage, efficiency, and safety.

I want new headers => These will increase mileage.

I want a turbo => Engine will work less hard in daily driving and will last longer. Safer on ramp merging.

I want kickass tires => Safer since they are the only thing contacting the road.

I want a big brake kit => Better for panic stops.

I want an OD trans swap => It will pay for itself in savings!

I want new shocks/springs => It will be more stable on the highway and will make lane changes more smooth.

And so forth. This is a skill you should hone like a samurai hones his katana. Know it. Live it. Be it.

Tom McParland > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/24/2014 at 19:44

All I know is I can check out and oogle as many cars as I want, wife doesn't mind and my car never gets jealous... well except maybe that one time.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
10/24/2014 at 19:59

Well, I fall under both the well dressed and handy categories. But I think everyone should appreciate a DIYer. The wife, the kids, the parents, the grandparents, the inlaws, the friends, etc...

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Tohru
10/24/2014 at 20:01

That it does but its connotation is better, no awkwardness trying to explain to your wife that it was simply the old lady in the elevator wearing too much chanel and youre not cheating on her

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/24/2014 at 20:03

I often get asked by my girlfriend to dress nicer. She was saying I should probably change today because I was wearing ripped jeans and an old green day shirt with a hole in it... But yeah my family certainly likes the fact I can do DIY stuff. They always have a list of stuff for me to do everytime I visit my home town. I get paid in beers so it's all good.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
10/24/2014 at 20:07

I dress nice because I know what I like. That essentially means I wear practically the same thing in every day, alternating colors by the day. I always wear a tshirt and jeans with a button down over the tshirt either opened or buttons most of the way with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows. You could have a lot of variety with this, SO I dress teh same every day without dressing the same every day. I wish my family appreciated DIYers, I offer to help my parents around the house all the time, but they just call the guy and over pay

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/24/2014 at 20:12

I'm kind of a cheap skate with clothes so I only wear old t shirts and jeans that I've had for ages, caterpillar boots and my leather biker jacket that's even older than me if its cold out. Nothing wrong with trying to dress nice though, I'm just a scruffy guy haha.

My family can't afford to pay a guy unfortunately, my grandad used to fix everything for the family then I learned everything from him and sort of took over. If I don't fix the stuff we'd start to have to give up things to pay for mechanics and plumbers and such.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell.
10/24/2014 at 20:16

The thing is my family really cant afford it either, so I really dont understand it

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/24/2014 at 20:19

They might not trust you fully with stuff maybe. It took a few years of helping out with my grandad before I was trusted to just do stuff on my own.

Tohru > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/24/2014 at 21:17

Instead you just smell like Optimus Prime's taint.

cayman2007 > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/24/2014 at 21:32

This week: brakes, temp sensor change, a few other little odds & ends on my car. Did a few things around the house too: repaired a broken lamp, replaced the laundry room sink & faucet, fixed our home theatre. Oh yeah, I have a full time job and then some.. and if it really matters I dress like a homeless man.

dumpsterfire! > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
10/25/2014 at 10:51

being formerly married, I am glad I don't have to explain how i saved $1000 doing the timing belt myself only to pay $3500 later for improperly torquing 1 fucking bolt